Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
