I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
