What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
