If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
