STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize