your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
