jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
