To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
