I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
