If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
