i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
