When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
