wrigley field is MILF paradise
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
