The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
