Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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