So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
