Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
