I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
