mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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