Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
