at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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