...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
