It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
