Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
