i just google imaged poop.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
