you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i will never coherently bang her
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
