I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
