i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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