I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
