i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
