What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
