i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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