Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
