Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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