I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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