I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bring me that man meat
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
