Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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