I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i out mim tonsoeep
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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