i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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