Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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