i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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