It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
