My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
