my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
