I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize