I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
