I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
