He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
