she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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