Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
