Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
