so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize