If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Girls should come with a carfax report
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
