I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
