Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
