Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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