Just mADE A PArabola og urine
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize
